Well I never thought it. I have tried avoiding it as much as I could, but it seems to creep up to me as much as I fight it.
I’m pretty satisfied working behind the scenes, nice and neat admin. Meeting loads of people and knowing all that’s going on without the responsibility. Now I feel being pushed in a role that though appealing is not something I’m actively looking for and frankly kind of scares me.
Give me a 9 to 5, and I’m happy. I can go to movies, to film festivals and keep up with my blog. Have a life besides the work-me. Now, I’m going 1 hour earlier to work, stay later, all in the focus of getting the job done. To be proud of what I deliver and be certain everything is done before the opening day. Currently it’s just at the crunch moments, near the completion of the project, but I fear it might evolve to this all the time. Maybe it’s just the stress from these past 3 weeks talking. I’ve done a lot of hours since, that it feels like it’s all I’ve ever done. Maybe I’ve lost the ability to put things into perspective. I’ve always had trouble being stress resilient and not having things going according to my schedule.
I’m just uncomfortable being on the foreground. Maybe it’s something to grow into. We’ll see.