Animal kingdom explored: a closer look

Two Faced people. A rare species, not in danger of extinction what-so-ever.

They travel in packs, in small or large numbers. Usually found near easily recognizable gathering places i.e. snack machines, coffee break rooms. Avoiding their prey, yet circling near them in anticipation of being caught. For this is the thrill they seek and live for.

How do you tell them from regular people?
Many studies have been done, yet the results are astounding and sometimes unreliable. Two Faced people can be very cunning.

  • A visible sign: turning slightly red in the face when entering their territory i.e. the room.
  • Babbling nonsense all of a sudden is an other sign, in the audible category.
  • Excessive smiling towards you when before they talked rapidly and furiously to others of their species.

Then there are those who are masters at their tactics: these are difficult to spot for there are no signs (visual or audible) and are easy to trust. Yet somewhere in the back of your mind, you do have a primal instinct warning you are someone’s prey: hunted by the Two Faced.

What actions can you take when encountering this all too common breed?
Unfortunately, not much can be done. Avoidance could work, but has its flaws. Confronting them only works in 35% of all cases.

Precautionary measure: always stay somewhat aloof. It is known this Two Faced species have on occasion turned people to their creed. You could be next.

… does it show I just got back from my lunch break at work?


Categories little flowers of perpetual annoyance, writings

6 thoughts on “Animal kingdom explored: a closer look

  1. Stewart Sternberg September 28, 2009 — 9:16 PM

    One has to observe the Two Faced in its natural setting. These creatures don’t do well in confinement. They need to roam. I’m also amazed that they can survive in packs, especially since they don’t necessarily do well with others of their kind. Unlike the swan, the Two Faced don’t mate for life, they will stay with a mate for a set period of time and move on to more psychologically fertile territory.It’s a shame you couldn’t have given us a picture or two of them in the wild.

  2. I think I’ve met a lot of these type!

  3. Yes, the Two Faced are a solitary kind and the moving around in packs seems odd. But need others to feel at ease, yet never stay with the same clan. It is observed that even with members who move towards a similar pray, they will turn on each other when least expected.I do have some footage, but by showing it I risk becoming a Two Faced myself. But maybe … hmm …

  4. Stewart Sternberg September 28, 2009 — 9:28 PM

    The danger of any sociological experiment, especially with another species, is the possibility of anthropomorphosizing the experience, that is, ascribing human behaviors and thoughts to inhuman things.May I suggest further study, but also exposure to other related herds such as The Two Foot Glad Handers or the Desperate Histrionic Chestbeaters?

  5. Ok, Stewart, I shall pack my notebook, camera and get my Jacques Cousteau bonnet out of the wash and go exporing. Track these herds and try to compose an astonishing feature on these creatures. Maybe you can give me a clue to where I can infiltrate their habitat? And Jean-Luc, yes, the Two Faced are everywhere … they could even occur on your beloved Enterprise!

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